Sunday, November 24, 2013

.The End.

As I turn around to stare at the room, the confusing sense of warmth and guilt filled whatever little chamber I had left for the space.
It once had been filled with life, joy, laughter and love. It was once empty too, but it had sunshine in every season. All until stormy days were welcomed, and sorrow sets its game.
I stared at the one spot where nothing, no dust, paraphernalia or useless item sat. Just a round spot on that floor, where one had sat wishing for the impossible.
"NO!" It's not impossible...: So I would reply.
Coming back to reality, again the spot remain empty. Turning to the right were papers after papers of incidences and to the left, random things that used to hold much value.
The wishing starts again, but before my feet put itself forward to the empty spot, I should cringe in fear and remember what is and have to be.
The room was now valueless. It held nothing but rubbish. Everything unnecessary, everything that should not have been, existed within that room. Sunlight has fled and the storm was never ceasing. If it was a game, it has ended. If it was a story, it was over. If it was a book, the pages were burnt and torn. Nothing can be helped.
"NO!" It can...It can be helped...: So I would reply
With a laugh that barely left my mouth, I held the doorknob and said "Goodbye"
I have better things to see watch learn fulfil achieve fight battle hone and love.
But the room and it's items will remain the same as the door closes, the sun will not come back. The storm will not fled. Sorrow will still reign in the room. Yes, I have given up.
"NO!" You haven't...You can't!: So I would reply
But I did and I will. Hearing the door being locked, I stare at the key filled with pain, and tossed it under the door in the room.
Placing my ear upon the door, I still heard rain pouring in. Yes, I was hoping it would have ended. I stood back and saw the word placed on the door, honourably written "EMOTIONS". I smiled and walked away. I would need the room someday, I know.
But it doesn't matter, because whatever matters have been locked out and as the king breathes his last breath, so will the kingdom. All dies none lives, especially I.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Days of Disbelief


Too afraid to sleep,

Too tired awake.


Saturday, August 31, 2013

Not alone

I can relate very well to these two characters. The reason why I can make people believe I'm amazing because I've lived through enough, to be able to mimic what others would like to see and do, than to mean it.

But I can't tell anyone cause I need comrades and a job.
I love a quiet blog~ x)

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Learn to be Lonely.

So much to smile about but so much to fear, so in the end one refrains oneself from believing and hoping so as not to cry and feel ashamed. I want to be THICK SKINNED HOPEFUL AGAIN.
I'm sorry for crushing you Joyce. I'm so so sorry. 


"Who will be there for you?
Comfort and care for you?
Learn to be lonely.
Learn to be your one companion."
~Learn to be Lonely ;  Phantom of The Opera

Thursday, July 11, 2013

It's just too Bad.

I drew a few things Im proud of recently. Good to know that many hours of not paying attention in class still gives me an extra thing or two in life. ^^

I know I can draw.
I know I can act.
I know I can't dance.
I know I'm not always nice.

To know oneself is I'm sure something we all must achieve. By knowing, you recognise situations you can keep yourself to or avoid.

'Bagai tikus membaiki labu' is a very real phrase to me. I hate knowing that I am capable of destroying something people put so much effort in to built. People just like to see you try what they are good at, while they work their magic, and in the end the product is not the best that it can be. It makes no sense to me. They are good at something else. Take advantage of that.

Thursday, July 4, 2013


PHUUUUUUU! Fly fly away dusts! Phuu!


There was a time when I didn't know who I was. When I was not aware that I was still being moulded than already made.

Then came the time when I realise I was and am still being moulded and is expected to continue changing.

Then I fell upon the time when I look back at the start of my existence to find I was never meant to be whole, BUT I can be.

Then so the time I want to be more than who I was, I wanted to be what I can be.

To only find myself in Mental Health lecture, realising the many symptoms I have had to confirm myself having problems which till today I can understand. People say "We can't understand why they do that but it is painful''. I say "Yes, it is painful, but yes, I can understand."

If you need help, please look for me. If you need me, come. If you are going through this, meet me.
I cannot keep your secret with me. For your health's sake, I must tell others.


Friday, March 15, 2013

If There's anything worth boasting~

Indeed if there's anything worth me boasting or being happy about telling, it's always of me being back home...

Even though it has only been 3 months, I have been given the chance to come back home to eat, drink and well be merry. XP (AND DRIVE. THANK GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH THE LUXURY OF HAVING A CAR SPECIALLY PUT ASIDE FOR ME!)

Thank you:
.Uncle&Aunty Koay
.Aunty Peh Lan
.Aunty Doreen
.Aunty... (En's mum!)
.Aunty Saw Cheng! (yummy donutssss~ XP)
.Aunty Amelia! ( =,) )
.Uncle Peng Chiat @.@
.Edward! (I'm so glad somehow I just got so used to you~ X) )
.Yi En
.Cheng Yu
.DANIELLLLLL TINNNGGG so so so much~~ (If you read this SOMEHOW~ Hope you'd feel special! Heh~)

And of course,

My Very Own Family

And: Mocha, 3 chickens, 3 chicks, 1 rat.


Thank you Lord for just being the example and model in this community I'm placed in and that I'm able to taste and sense them all from Your people. I only pray that with this, I'd be able to play as important a part to others as they do in my life. In Jesus' name I thank You, Amen.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Love is not always beautiful; Not at the start~

Learn from someone who knows
Make sure you don't forget
Love you misunderstand
Is love that you'll regret.

~ Look With Your Heart, Love Never Dies Musical

Friday, January 25, 2013

At least You died Eponine....

Yes it's a trailer but focus on the song... Yes the song... Meet Eponine... Eponine meet everybody....

Dear Eponine,

At least you died.... Now you can laugh at me from heaven.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

My letter to Eponine

Dear Eponine,

Thank you for being an example and one who has dedicated who you were to whom you loved and love still.
You're not alone.
Thank you.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

So go color the town pretty, if it wasn't meant to be~

~When you've come back around after painting the town, you'll see
I'm almost over you~