Springs' Autumn, Summers' Winter

Lie Down and Close Your Eyes.

2012-01-25T11:51:00.000-08:00

"And how can a story be ended

When it didn't hardly begin

How can my glass be so empty

When it's filled up to the brim"

She was ready, she said before she stepped forward.

There was faith and confidence.

Dreams and hopes were never so true.

Today the rains pour, the storm rages...

She sits under the dying tree and consoles herself.

She blamed herself. She hated herself.

All so until a bird came with a song.

She heard naught.

But a stranger like herself, she did meet.

"In a country where we are headed, love
There is nothing but rocks and stones
No friendly plant or animal
No angel to guide you home"

2011-12-29T21:20:00.001-08:00

STOP IT!!!

Dusk and Dawn

2011-12-04T01:30:00.001-08:00

Almost freedom from education!!!!

Looking forward to purposeful days ahead!

Lived to tell the tale

2011-11-24T01:50:00.001-08:00

This year has been a very rough year on me.
I've been learning how to live a life with a little less of my over-confidence and self-pride...And learning how to forgive others as well as myself...
Lets talk about my pride though....It was a very good friend of mine that got me to many places in my life. I won competitions thanks to it, posts, respect...almost anything a young person such as I would love to win, I'd be able to collect them all...Priceless prizes consisting of memories in my life they were: These games I play with pride as my chess piece owned them all.
Coming to this year, I felt safe in prides arms....I've learned of God, and though I do still give apart of the glory to Him, I never made them His; I never made myself His as well.
I will never serve idols nor pagans cause this God I know is real, but how serious I was with Him was always questionable.

So....With pride I walked through the entire 2011, unaware of anything; thinking I was invincible with pride..
Everything went wrong from March then October then Yesterday...
In March a hammer called reality slammed on my head and had me crying...
In October, a knife called sensibility stabbed me and left me bleeding...
Yesterday, a blade called respect slashed me to bits and left me weak...
If "Joyce-in-the-past" sees me now, she'd spit on me and scream at me...she'd tell me "You are nowhere now".
But, I'm not the past me and the past me is not here, therefore heck with her. So, at where Im standing now...what can I do?
I have lost alot of self-respect for myself, my pride left me in ruins, guilt stained me and refuses to wash off.
I have scars all over me, so do I really have no more hope for a future?
Then of course, Jesus Christ came in mind. He washes away all sins like it or not and allows you to start anew and fresh! As much as guilt is screaming right into my ears that I'm hopeless, guilt actually has no power to make me hopeless unless I allow him to.

Examples:
(Kakashi-Naruto , Prince Zuko - Avatar , Keshin - Samurai X , Chichiri - Fushig Yuugi)

The scars Im talking about are not physical ones but, linking to these examples: every scar tells a story

Like it or not, they cant remove the scars. In fact, these scars actually brought them to somewhere in life. Good or bad, it was up to them.

Zuko : He was an exiled prince and wasnt a very good character after he obtained that scar his father left him with...It took him quite a long while before he realised where he went wrong.

Kenshin: His scar carries alot of stories about his famous past and his personal self...After getting that scar, he could have just continue using his skills to kill people and live up to his reputation, but instead, he chose to live and let live...

Chichiri : His scar is a reminder of his past (some love story actually) which he carries around but was never affected by it...eventhough it blinds him at oneside, he made himself useful to others still ad proved worthy of love and respect.

Kakashi : I dont know (Naruto is too long), but i always believed a man with some scar on him must have went through a hard time and who he is now, is what that counts.

These people could've just allowed guilt, shame and sadness to control their future...But they didn't...and that was what that made them great...

The scars will never leave them, but it always serves as a good reminder of who one was before the present.

For me, I now see a new start for myself....Thanks to Christ, these scars I take so much notice of now, He may even ignore, and that is what that counts.

I WON WITH FREE WILL

Aching

2011-11-21T01:28:00.000-08:00

I know many of you will be able to achieve what you have aimed for (or may have achieved it already): I'm glad really...But just because I don't achieve what you will be achieving doesn't mean I don't care about myself.

On the contrary, I'm fighting a war you may not understand and may in time you will face also.

Sincerely, sincerity.

It Can't last

2011-11-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

STPM is coming...

And my feelings are still toying with me...

Hurt and pain never made themselves so clear till now.

Baby Here I Go Again

2011-11-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

May have been missing something all this while after all.. =)
Fixing up the pieces and trying once more...
Still am blessed~ ^^

(Lets hope this lasts)

LIFE RAWKS WIT JESUS CHRIST! ^^^^

2011-11-05T04:51:00.000-07:00

Dear younger me,

You were a BIG FAT JOKE OF EXISTANCE: you cursed alot (with normal words and foul ones), you were bloody attention seeking, you were SUPER LOUD (not always on purpose I know but at times yes), you were annoying.....AND YET: you were cool, people still respected you in a way, gives you high posts in every social circle, and was considered quite matured for whichever age you were then.

Right now, you told yourself to be nice, un-rude (but still you), lovable and to love also. Especially TO LOVE OTHERS....And yet...The world makes it so difficult for you. Now you are alone...(practically unwanted except from those who wants your company from desperation)...and trying to survive despite your horrible emotional state...I know if you were me, you'd go "f**k life!" But here I am with this:

JAMES 1:2 = ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

COLLOSSIANS 3:12 = Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

ANDD!!!!

PSALMS 37:4 = ⁴ Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

NAO! Learn to have faith and at all times have joy and NOT BE GREEDY!!!!

(Jesus Christ changes your emotional state mann.... o.o)

CRIESSSS!!!!

2011-11-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

*HICCOUGH*

I don't have hiccoughs...but...ever realised hiccoughs get you so irritated with them that you forget all your other problems???
I want a hiccough everytime I think of sth sad...

(still hurt)

I will follow you~~~ (Backup singers: follow you!)

2011-10-20T05:51:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry

(But I still think It doesn't make sense! Even though now I understand.)

Discarded

2011-10-20T02:19:00.000-07:00

I'M SICK OF BEING TOLD I HAVE A FAMILY THAT DOESN'T WANT TO TALK OR GET TO KNOW ME WHILE STRANGERS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS!

I'M SICK OF BEING IN A FAMILY WHERE YOU CANT BE TRANSPARENT WITH THEM ALL BECAUSE THEY START NOT LIKING YOU!

I'M SICK OF BEING IN A FAMILY WHEN IT IS A FAMILY ONLY WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT!

IDIOTS! IF YOU ARE MY BROTHER OR SISTER: BE ONE!

(Too annoyed and disappointed and depressed to say anything here)

Greetings~~ ^^

2011-10-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

(Scanner went BOOM BOOM~ So I was stuck with the camera. X3)

Meet My Friend!! I haven't made up my mind of what to call her by, but she's a Dream Mistress. ^^ I think she is pretty~

Fragile

2011-10-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go
I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

[Chorus:]
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

Broken Vow ~ Lara Fabian

Life has taught me to be gentler and more compassionate. Before this, I would laugh at people who could sing this song and mean it...it was ridiculous to me. Now~ The words can never be more true.

(Im not trying to attract specifically anybody's attention: Im just expressing myself)

Hello My Friend

2011-10-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm back to your kingdom to rule once more.

I've brought myself misery by running away, and have learnt my lesson.

For I Am All I've Done; Remember Me

2011-10-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

RememberI will still be hereAs long as you hold meIn your own memory
RememberWhen your dreams have endedTime can be transcendedJust remember me
I am the one star that keeps burningSo brightlyIt is the last lightTo fade into the rising sunI'm with you whenever you tellMy storyFor I am all I've done
RememberI will still be hereAs long as you hold meIn your own memoryRemember me
I am that warm voice in the cold windThat whispersAnd if you listenYou'll hear me call across the skyAs long as I still can reach outAnd touch youThat I will never die
RememberI'll never leave youIf you will onlyRemember me
RememberI will still be hereAs long as you hold meIn your own memory
RememberWhen your dreams have endedTime can be transcendedI live foreverRemember meRemember meRemember me

Remember Me ~ Josh Groban

2011-10-09T04:37:00.000-07:00

Crooning to the Moon

2011-10-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

I wonder would he even know me now

We were so young and it was long ago

Or will the memories rush back all at once with one hello

I wonder if he'll even know my name

Or must I remind him of those days

He used to love me then he may still love me now

I wonder if this music takes him back

To when our world was one big silver screen

Lost in the darkness we'd go to where only our hearts had been

I wonder if he still recalls my touch

I wish I could turn the clock somehow

He used to love me then he may still love me now

I wonder would he even know me now

We were so young and it was long ago

Or will the memories rush back all at once with one hello

I wonder if he'll even know my name

Or must I remind him of those days

He used to love me then he may still love me now

Would He Even Know Me Now~ Hayley Westenra

Dear survival

2011-09-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

I was Catherine Earnshaw.

I made myself Catherine Linton.

I crave but should not be Catherine Heathcliff.

(And the things I say many cannot understand)

= =

Good times, good times~

2011-09-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

You know the time in your life where you ave good friends and you consider good friends as awesome people....And then one fine day, they just pus you aside....They act like you are nobody...They show like they just don't wanna have anything to do with you anymore, then you get paranoid, so you start shooting everything and every word with a sorry...But it becomes worse somehow, and you get ignored even more.....Then you end up talking to yourself, feeling unawesome, then asking yourself what went wrong, but you cannot say sorry anymore, cause you never got any explanation from the last ''sorry's''......So you just end up alone, looking at your old friend, whom you are not so sure is or is not your friend now, and at some time get angry, then again you know there's n use.....Now, you just wonder what will ahppen o the next friend you are going to meet, how much of a friend he/she will be, then you wil remember that old friend, then you get hurt....Yeahhhh~ Remember that???? Oh life~ =)

World Wisdom.

2011-09-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

The world can try to convince me that God's creations are not trustworthy: though made by the Most Perfect and made in the image of The Most Perfect.

I will not fall. God made them for reasons He know, and I trust Him. If He can love them, so can I. If love needs trusting. I will trust.

I will not fall like most adults of the world have, to the deceptive idea of how selfish Gods' creations should be.

Hugs for Yua

2011-09-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

Poor little Yua, the lonely wolf

Gave her all to one, and resulted it all with none.

Poor little Yua, she has always been ignored

Though so much she always gave, it always left her sore.

Chapter 1

2011-09-01T04:59:00.001-07:00

"Blasted bitch. GO AWAY YUA! I can't do anything for you!" shouted the man in rags as he stomped through the muddy puddles away from the shadows. Few paces past and he felt insecure. He turns back to stare into the shadows as his body shivered, whispering "Don't come near me."

He paced faster ahead determined to get the buzzing guilt away from his head and heart. To where he was going, he did not know and has no idea. He only needed to get away from Yua.

The night was cold and it was drizzling. Tucking his hands into his what-was-left-of-it pocket, his mind forced ignorance of the presence he knew was following and stalking him. Yet, it was all in vain, his head buzzed even louder and in his condition where he has not had a decent meal in 3 days, it was unbearable. He needed food. He needed rest. He needed space (or maybe he had that too much). He never really understood what he needed. A vagabond was all he is and was; he needed almost everything.

Reaching a deserted alley, he saw a dry spot he could rest for the night. There were some newspapers around as well. Though some were damp, they were enough to psychologically satisfy him. Yua wouldn't be around him to warm him up anymore; or at least he wouldn't want her around. He grabbed the newspapers and sat on the dry spot. He was sheltered by the roofs to the building he was leaning against, and was thankful for ending his 'travels' there. Turning to his sides, he heaved a heavy sigh and prayed to have lost Yua once and for all.

After reading the newspapers and saw there was no sign of her around, he laid down on the hard ground. He was thankful that he managed to have lost her even though that meant losing his 'pillow'. A second of peace was all that was needed by the man to fall into deep sleep. However, no matter how much sleep or rest his body craved for, the need was not as great as his paranoid conscience to lose Yua.

Opening his blood shot eyes and staring into the darkness, dimly lit by moonlight. Figures and silhouettes of what may or may not be there played with his vision. His eyes were heavy but his heart raced. Nothing was right. He couldn't try fixing it. He did not want to. Maybe he does, but he can't. He was too tired.

The sound of rippled puddles reached the mans' ear. His fears became greater than ever, and a few steps away from him, there were eyes reflecting the moons rays. He became nervous and started crying. Cradling his body in his arms and pressing himself against the stone cold wall, he shivered and cried, "Go away Yua. Please, I have nothing to give you."

It was a quiet night and the sobs of the poor man were the only thing one can hear. Yua took a few steps closer and was soon under the moonlight. The vagabond, cried harder after taking a glance at her. Her white fur was as pure and as beautiful as he could have ever imagined. Her once steady eyes were now filled with sorrow. Her white paws were dirtied due to the chase for her master. It was a painful sight to see for the man, and he closed his eyes even tighter.

He felt her muzzle warming his hand as she licked it, and though it felt good, his own grief stabbed him painfully. "Go Yua! Go!! Stupid wolf! Someone else can take care of you! Not me!" shouted the man as he shoved her roughly away. "I love having you around too, but I can't provide you anything. Leave me alone Yua. I do not deserve you."

Yua stared at the man, and the man sobbed even harder. Shuffled steps were heard and the man felt an absence to the presence that was once there. He opened his bloodshot eyes and saw her tail vanish into the darkness. "You were my treasure Yua. I'm sorry."

I need to stop this.

2011-08-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

"May guilt follow you wherever you go and kill you deep within for it is the very death that you deserve. May it swallow you whole with no mercy and reign over your sun-filled life with the darkness only you fear. Let no one else know for they will laugh, and this I need not tell you for you'd be too ashamed. Let Guilt follow you all through your life so you'll remember me and look at how much you've almost wrecked my life, and how much you owe me yours. Long live GUILT!"

................Something I REALLY WANNA TELL EVERYBODY WHOM I'VE LOST RESPECT FOR! And to those whom I've trusted. Have fun living the life you lead. =)

Haunts can remain forever. =D

Love love love love love makes the world go round ^^

2011-07-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

Love is a song that never ends

Life may be swift and fleeting

Hope may die yet love's beautiful music

Comes each day like the dawn

Love is a song that never ends

One simple theme repeating

Like the voice of a heavenly choir

Love's sweet music flows on

BAMBI ; Love is a song

Love doesn't have to mean just two people in the world...It's a song for everyone to sing. And it never dies as long as the one who has the greatest love of all lives. Thank you God. =)

GOD IS LOVE!

Until then

2011-07-28T02:37:00.000-07:00

Bye little blue bird that never existed. I'm letting you go.

But if you ever wanna come back, just let me know.

So Long, Farewell.

2011-07-03T08:27:00.001-07:00

I think you saw my little blue bird

There! Your eyes are peeking!

And yet, maybe they aren't.

Maybe you can hear it sing?

You must know my blue bird

It is so very hard to miss

And yet, you insist you haven't

Sigh, who am I to persist?

I'm keeping my little blue bird

Though you may not care

I believe one day you would

It'll be the day you know I'm there.

I promised myself

2011-06-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

I promised myself

I promised I'd wait for you

The midnight hourI know you'll shine on through

I promised myselfI promised the world to you

I gave you flowers

You made my dreams come true

How many of us out there

Feel the need to run and look for shelter

I promised myself

That I'd say a prayer for you

A brand new tomorrow

Where all you wish comes true

I promised myself

That I'd make it up to you

My sister and brother

Know I'm in love with you

How many of us out there

Feel the pain of losing what was once there

God I know what people say about her

No mistake, who can live without love

I promised myself

In the midnight hour I will wait for you

I promised myself

I promised I'd wait for you

The midnight hour

I know you'll shine on through

I promised myself

I promised the world to you

I gave you flowers

You made my dreams come true

Couldnt find a clearer video, but put this all cause t was the very vid that I saw when I was std 6 and I couldnt understand what the lyrics meant. It was just catchy, and just the type of song I like (stuff you cant find today....)

Anyway, the reason why suddenly this vid appeared is cause, I just found an old file I stashed in my room that has everything I treasure when I was 12. from drawings to lyrics from Blue, gareth Gates, and A*Teens.

When i came across this song in there, I was pretty much at awe at how I can put myself along with the lyrics.

How often do we promise ourself things, and later in life, plan to just let it go? If that happens, whatever words you've used in your life, all would mean nothing.

And this song reminded me, of every word I've said in the past...and these personal promises, I think it is important to honor yourself, even though others don't know how to appreciate you.

It's like, we do good deeds not so that we can get into good books in another persons life, we do it for God who always take note and for ourselves so that we live a life worth living.

So, even promising abstract things, they matter to your being, not so that you show others that I'm a good person. It's for your own good.

I promised myself many things that you've even heard for yourself. I may be against the tide of selfish human beings, but, reality is: if I'm gonna die somehow, I want to do it knowing I've lived a life worth living and for a cause close to my heart.

P/S: Today, people are living in their own fantasy. I'm tired of listening to people telling me how much of a lie I'm living when they are chasing the wind. What matters is always what you end up with in your heart at the end of the day. Not what's in your hand.

(I'm just venting out my frustration at being misunderstood). If you do not believe what I've said, it's your life anyway so, an easy way into my mind: what will you tell yourself right before you die? What will you pray to God before you die? What will you first think of before you die? What will your regrets be before you die? If you think you are too young for death, think again. If you choose to ignore me, remember there are people who died crying, or smiling at their own stupidity in life when time cannot be reversed.

I'm gonna die smiling repeating the words to all around me: Christ is Lord!

2011-06-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

When words mean nothing

And actions hurt most.

Who will I die as?

2011-06-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

I was once told

"Children wastes alot of much time arguing with parents"

It got me thinking that Yes.....I think I have fallen for that.

If i count all the time I used to fight/quarrel/go against my parents: it may add well up to 1 or 2 years~

I go pass all blogs, teens and 'young adults', this parents issue is the same for everyone.

Who to blame?

Of course I'll start with: Yes me..Human..duhh..child only...who cares, no one should..I am but a passing wind.

Still, honestly: Parents~ = =

Or at least mine...

It's not easy to be a parent, i know...But from reading others life experiences also: WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENTS WHO DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO WHAT THEIR CHILDREN HAVE TO SAY?

I just read a post by a 20 year old, using words I use to go against my parents.

But the one thing that striked me while reading that post was: "I'm going to be 20 years old in a day"

This line made me realise how close I am to the point where i have no choice but to be independant, self-reliant and wise so as not to make wrong decisions in my life. my family will be so far away from me.

All this while, I have been pretty complacent with my parents orders...I fight with them but in the end I will follow what they ask me to do....In a few years time, will that be the case for me? When am I gonna grow up? Or am I gonna bring my parents along with me?

HOW AM I GONNA MAKE A DECISION IN THEIR ABSENCE?

People my age are already having families, children, forced to take another route in life that is not as comfortable as mine....They're not dead, but I'm sure they have as much as a meaningful life as mine.

Im not saying Im gonna go look for a tiger in the mountains..But....What if one day I meet it? Life is a mountain by itself...I climbing everyday....Now, my family will just tell me which path to take so that I will not meet a tiger, and I fight with them over it...BUT NOW~ At my age~ Should I really eb spending my time questioning them about the paths they want me to take in this mountain? ESPECIALLY SINCE IM CLIMBING A DIFFERENT MOUNTAIN?

I feel very dependant..

And Im starting to fear for my future~

Im gonna lose my parents pretty soon...And when tehy are gone, who will I be? When I'm gonna go, Who will I die as?

Im already 19....Should I still be facing these fights with parents over petty things for perfection sake?

Should I just follow what they tell me to do until they die, and I go aimless?

Should I start ignoring them and plan to detach myself so as not to waste anymore time~ = =

Obviously parents can do something, but too bad. They never listen.

Dear laptop I never got a chance to name~

2011-06-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

My laptop....

May take up to 30 secs just to get the google chrome started~

May hang while doing my work~

May not have powerpoint~

May only have MicOffice 2003~

May take up to 5 mins for MSN to start~

May go blue screen once in two weeks and take up to 2 weeks to get the screen back~

May take hours for files to be saved into pendrives~

May kill My Video & Photo editting program~

I still love it~ XD SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH~!

Cause it lasted me since long ago until now and until next year till I get a new one. =D

Take care of yourself laptop~ Thought I failed to get a name for you~ > <

Your not so graceful present owner.

JoyceTJL

Are you there?

2011-06-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

I caught a little blue bird

Oh how you wouldn't believe me

It has the cutest song

And it's really a sight to see.

I caught a little blue bird

Oh how you don't want to believe me

It's in a little cage

Waiting for you to have a peek.

I caught a little blue bird

You still ignore me so

Please give me just a little of your time

And listen to it's melodies flow.

I caught a little blue bird

But you never believed me

I wonder if I should let it fly away

Then there'd be no more left of it to see.

LONELY AND FORGOTTEN???

2011-06-15T03:47:00.000-07:00

Interesting lyrics~ hmmmmm~

P/S: Remember this is a robot singing, that's how he can reach all those high parts~ XD

Vocaloid craze period: When songs say it all~

2011-06-14T03:50:00.000-07:00

I mutter your name today

If your smile is recalled, it becomes dear

Love with an end need not start

Because your smile isn't lost

My love lie thick like the snow

Has it already been conveyed to you?

It's still early, I'll tell it to you some other time.

I don't wanna be damaged by you

I will imagine you tomorrow

I'm healed when your voice is heard

You shine like the meteor

I think that your voice was heard from a distance

My love is disarranged like the snowstorm

You are to be near me, yet, it's actually far.

I can't tell you I wanna speak to you

I feel nervous when our eyes meet

The light lights up in the tree

The city is filled by lovers' love

Any snow storms stop some time and light shines

Spring will also come in my mind

Please let me believe honey, Some time

The day that can be laughingly spoken with you comes. Isn't it so?

KAGAMINE LEN, VOCALOID~

2011-06-14T02:44:00.000-07:00

AND YOU'LL NEVER LIVE UNTIL YOU LOVED WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL!!

-Everyday I love you, Boyzone

FEELING AWESOME....

2011-06-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

I GOT A BAND 5 FOR MY MUET!! XD

Yes it is good news since I aimed for it and GOAL! XD

THANK YOU FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND TEACHERS FOR ALL YOUR SUPORT AND AUNTY AMELIA FOR PUSHING ME! XP

Relating to that, here's the whole emotional story to the results.

Before the results,

I expected I should be one of the highest (top 2 at least?) since, my good friend with awesome englishness was out of the competition. I've been growing with that since std 1, where eng teachers don't bother what I do in class or in exams cause they know, I'd be either the best or second best in the subject. Year after year it has been so, continuing up to secondary school. Coming to MUET however, it was an entirely new thing for me, and style of writing wanted was definitely not something I've ever practiced on. It was a whole new excercise...I was taught and trained to write as boring and sensible (comparing to my normal works) as newspapers and MAGAZINES DO!

First try last year was a failure as I did not reach my goal, and made me realise how much pride I had in myself (thank you good friend for listening to all my kept in unsatisfactory unjustified remarks last year XD). With that, I told myself, I should work harder...It was hard though...Stubborn as I was, however: time passed, yada yada...I sat for this years exam.

I got a band 5, as I have wanted and aimed for BUT i was still unsatisfied.

WHY? Cause, I wasnt the highest.

Three others were higher than me and I was second last among the band 5's. I wasn't the only one surprised but others around me were too. This added more to my flame of pride. XD And I spent teh whole day thinking and meditating: HOW SILLY I AM!

I ACHIEVED WHAT I NEEDED! Thoughts like: "I put in so much work, while these people rarely speaks eng gets higher scores than me, should be impossible!" shouldn't be welcomed and there at all!!

I needed a band 5 and I got it. I sat for the exam again for a band5, and I got it. WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM?

And after a few HOURS of thinking and self consolation, I realised, I can always want to do better. BUT, what will I do with the unpredictable results?

1. Show off knowing you have everything to be number 1?

2. Show off that God is good and will always bless you with the best?

I know many people who work VERY hard for many things they want in life. When they don't achieve their goal, they get sad.

Reason?

To not be complacent and to go as far as one can in whatever it is.

Where does God come in?

When my results are good.

And what happens if you don't get what you want?

Blame yourself and God must be punishing me/giving me the yellow light/testing my patience.

As much as the answer to the third question may be partially true according to ones situation, getting a result ALSO KNOWN AS finishing a small race in life: Are we not allowed to be proud at all? Confident in our lives?

I don't think so. The point is not what we get but what God and you put in for the race!

You give your best, God gives you the BEST too!

Getting sad over results wouldnt help. I think God would prefer us to be confident and proud: "I HAVE A GOD WHO TAKES CARE OF ME AS LONG AS I GIVE IT ALL FOR HIM! MY ACHIVEMENT? TOO LOW FOR YOU? WAIT AND WATCH WHAT MY GOD WILL DO!"

These words shouldnt be under CONSOLATION....These words should be categorised under VICTORY FOR I AM FREE! VICTORY FOR GOD IS LOVE! VICTORY CAUSE I'M BLESSED AND WILL BE BLESSED!

How many of use take God as just consolation and not our pride and joy?

I'm very sleepy....So if there are no connections here. Forgive me. TT.TT

I admit, I feel that unsatisfied proud side of me burnin up for revenge in some way. But i know, It will not help me and it isn't going to. And just because I admit this fault of mine, doesnt mean Im not learning anything. =) It's hard to erase this but, Im sticking to logic, sensibility, reasoning and faith!

As honest as I am, I honestly am happy for my other friends who managed to get high scores and achieved using their best efforts!

I did not lose anything and It's good to see a promising future ahead for my friends!

BESIDES! one of them is a girl I help with alot with her Eng subject since form1-...Whenever she needs me! =D My help has paid off and my results: SUCCESS!

GOD IS GOOD! ^^^^

Crocodile~ XD

2011-06-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

I remember my mum singing this song while I watched Peter Pan (when I was very young) AND I THOUGHT SHE MADE IT UP! But who knew!!!! XD HAHAHA!! THERE IS SUCH A SONG!

Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile
You may very well be well bred
Lots ot etiquette in your head
But there's always some special case, time or place
To forget etiquette
For instance:
Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
Never smile at a crocodile
Never dip your hat and stop to talk awhile
Never run, walk away, say good-night, not good-day
Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile

For stability's sake~

2011-06-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

Giving up but not giving up at the same time~? hmmmm~

I HATE HATE HATE COMPLICATIONS!!

But who cares anyway. = = nobody cares who i am~ (or at least those whom i care for dun)

Gaah~ life~

Wants, Needs and Actions

2011-06-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

needa draw

Wanna draw

Too tired to draw

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

...........

............

.............

KAYHP! TOILET TIME! XDDDD

It ended anyway. =)

2011-05-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

Lighted Joy

2011-05-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Just came back from church, and the slides were the same ol' every Sunday Reminders:

.Reflect a good reflection to the society

.Be Christ-Like

.Pick up the cross

.Make a difference wherever you are

.Build stronger churches

It's always the same old, same old.....

But though they are just words, doing it is a different thing is, we all find VERY hard to do and achieve...That's why we thank God for sending Jesus to bridge that gap to make our lives easier: AND EVEN WITH THAT IT IS HARD.

With all that difficulty to achieve these few things, My question is: ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND THEM DIFFICULT? And ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE SAD BECAUSE WE FIND IT HARD?

I know alot of ppl find me a person who couldn't care less about anything, that's pretty much cause humans beings complain on EVERY PETTY SMALL LITTLE THING THAT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE PURPOSE, Ahem~ Anyway....As much as you see me that way, here's my point: I believe God exists, I believe He makes things we have to do challenging so that we improve ourselves (simple basic fact), But i do not believe God gives a task and laughs at your face saying

"HAHAHA! LOOK AT HER/HIM! CAN'T EVEN DO IT WITHOUT ME!!! BE MISERABLE YOU FOOL: WHOM I KNOW IS WORKING YOUR ASS OFF TO IMPROVE YOURSELF FOR ME!"

I believe God is merciful and graceful the way He is, and so we should be to take Him as an example.

If God, can state the quote above, and force us to be sad and unhappy to do His task, he must be a very sadistic God and painful to be around with. AND CANT WAIT TO PERISH US. = = We were made in His image, able to be happy, sad, angry frustrated....He knows what we feel, knows what we can feel, knows what we dont even know we are feeling, cause He created them all...Im only speaking through sense here, Im not saying i know EVERYTHING GOD DOES. With what He knows of us, He tried creating mini-Him's, and would sense tell you, He planned to do so, to make you sad to work for him? Depressed to work for Him diligently? Unhappy to Know the Truth, to how to be His servant? When He calls you friend and doesn't want you to be a foe?

This was what a good friend of mine told me:

"Hard eh to be a Christian? It's not easy."

This person I know and love, goes around being sad, angry, sad, and EVERYBODY AGREES that this person never smiles. And who was everybody? Ppl who made first impressions of him....

Im not that close to this person now, but, I know this person tries her/his best, to be a Christian, and to be SOMEBODY for God. But while doing it, I do not sense the joy but only pain, sorrow and misery. From that what am I suppose to understand from being a good Christian? That being a mini-Christ is a pain and SHOULD be a pain?

I thought we should be joyful and celebrating! THE MESSIAH CAME! AND SAVED US ALL!

Im sad and mourning for those who are still lost (as am I at times) but How long do i need to frown? ALWAYS? No! I know what can make the lost and me happier! For I have found the Truth and because of the truth I AM FREE TODAY! LET ME SCREAM UP TO THE HEAVENS THAT I'VE BEEN BLESSED IN MY LIFE TO JUST KNOW THE TRUTH!

NOT: woopeedee~ Kay, back to work, save ppl...tell them what I know....damn it's so hard...goodness it's tough...HEY YOU BROTHER! REALLY TOUGH LA! Remember very hard to be Christian you know...sigh, sigh, sigh.....OH! you wanna be a Christian? Okay, but, HAIH...look at all my sighs la...I never smile so long adie... *walks away solemnly*

THERE ARE ALSO: "You are not happy being a Christian?"

"I AM! =D *3 seconds* = = SIGH~*

Please please ignore the question: "Is she talking about me?" Don't try guessing, this is only an example of SO MANY THAT I KNOW!

Is working for God a sad job? Working for a Saviour who has to power to help you if you allow Him to; a sad job? As a sister, I feel very discouraged!

With this attitude, are you then fulfilling the purpose of believing in Him and serving Him?

I've been among these ppl for a very long time, and the few points I stated at the start of this post, have always been what I meditate under my breath everyday...Until I realized, if I were to be next to God and talking to Him, I'd be so SUPERFICIAL....If God made a joke and wanted me to laugh with Him: I'd go "You are funny oh Almighty God" = = Is that what God wants? To be a robot in His presence? What's the purpose of having a CLOSE RELATIONSHIP TO HIM THEN? Or making Him your EVERYTHING?

To make Him my teddy Bear~

My Dad

My love

My sky

My earth

My King

My Invincible one

My Superman

MY GOD!

My everything: I don't want a friend who discourages me from everything good I wanna do: would that make it to my Everything list?

(Im not saying whatever you don't like, God will not be. Be sensible and rational, I want a friend who teaches me that I did sth in a wrong way, and smiles and tell me to do it again until I got the hang of it: GET A SENSIBLE AND WISE EVERYTHING LIST PEOPLE!)

Smile people. The Saviour is alive and why is He alive? So that You know how to LIVE AND LOVE! JOYFULLY! WITH ALL HIS GRACE!

P/S: I just don't find it sincere to do whatever we are supposed to do for God with a sad face. I don't like asking a friend to help and he/she frowns doing it. i'll take the job away from him/her at once! If anyone feels offended, I didn't intend any of it, Im just stating what I think and hoping you'll shine your light to the people around you. =)

This little light off mine, Im gonna make it shine

This little light off mine, Im gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine

Don't let Satan blow it off, I'm gonna let it shine

Let it Shine, Let it shine.

Don't Let Satan blow the shine away from doing God's work. =)

Not worth reading. But I love it.

2011-05-20T01:32:00.000-07:00

Me...The great and awesome me....

As a girl Im known to be one who has NO EMOTIONS (at least for a girl) and Have been PRETTY MEAN (thanks to that).

However, recently, I find myself easily affected by the common things only girls get affected by.

So, am I emotional now and qualified enough to be a girl according to the normal terms of society?

*checks my most loved Oxford advanced learners Dictionary 7th edition: this is not really the feeling love most girls have but it is to me Loyalty [New question: is loyalty a feeling or good reasoning? Hehee~ We'll come to that some other time]*

We'll go to the root word:

Emotion = A strong feeling such as love, fear or anger; the part of a person's character that consists of feelings.

Feeling = 1. An emotional state or reaction

2. an idea or belief, especially a vague or irrational one

3. the capacity to experience the sense of touch

Examples of when Im considered 'without feelings':

*18 years old, discussion*

A: What to do! He chase after me but i dun like him and no time. But he never fail to contact me.

Me: Tell him la. Make it clear to him.

B: o.o But that's mean

A: Yea.

*15 years old, Real life*

Guy shows interest......

Me: Thank you, but Im not interested. *SMILES!!!!!*

We are living happy separate lives than a complicated one. = =

Another Example:

*12 years old, whole class laughing at my friends and I for something we did wrong*

*walking out of class*

Friends: *CRYING!! RED EYES! SWOLLEN*

Me: ........... *smilling, knowing school just ended, oblivious to everything else*

Friends: YOU! What's wrong with you?! You know people just laughed at us?! Dunno how to feel anything wan lor she!

Me: O.O?!?!!! What else can you do?!

Friends: *angry angry angry*

Those days, I was like that.

Now, self examination.....Am I still like that?

#1: Lost somebody (It's no loss really, but....) : Feeling fragile

#2: EXAMSSS!!!! STPM!!! : Suicide thoughts

#3: Anybody comes and criticize what I do: I take them pretty much to heart

#4: Not accepted by present society : feel lonely

THOSE DAYS (I had a strong character):

#1: Awww..Too bad.....Oh well.....

#2: The sun won't die cause I get 0% *hum hum hum*

#3: Your problem, not mine....If anything goes wrong I'll learn my lesson...But what I do normally never results in doomsday

#4: (I'd avoid society normally, but I had friends who loved me Alot and they are not with me now )

The reasonings to all the problems Im facing are very obvious...but somehow, they are harder to live by than before which normally comes naturally.

Difference those days and then (which could be the very variable that affected me) =

There are adults and people who come and pressure me. They have always been in a good way, but, I feel I'm terribly in debt to them for being so concerned. And not achieving what they hope and ask for is disappointing.

Normal advices come with: "You must" and "you should"

Normal reaction in head nowadays: If I just fail and continue failing, they'll ignore my presence~ (FANTASIZING)

Hmm~ A variable I dun think I should ever consider....It's ridiculous. XD

Hehe~ But....Back to the question, Am I closer to being a girl today than before?

OR AM I JUST GETTING MORE IMMATURE THAN WHEN I WAS?!!!!!! O.O

. . . . .

This post is not worth anyones read.....But I love it~ XD

(conscious of what should be done due to reasoning skills and yet, not doing it just because I Like it: I may be a normal girl after all! =D NOW! Is that good news or a disappointing and confusing one?)

Hehee~ Ramble Ramble Ramble~ OH this is funnnnnn~ XD

Toy balloons~ Toy balloons~~~

Emo/Happy/uncertain/Hungry/Emo/Unsure/Confused/Very hungry/ stomach growling / Emo~ (I just love myself~ XD)

2011-05-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

Just lwuve the picturesss (I think @.@)....Heeeee~ I just realised Im quite terrible with colors~ TT.TT

Amateur in drawing

bad with colors.

= = Terrible with everything else

...

....

.....

.......

OH WHERE DO I BELONG?!!!!!

2011-05-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

Holding it all in~

Until I can let it go~

2011-05-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

Midnights in Winter
The glowing fire
Lights up your face in orange and gold.
I see your sweet smile
Shine through the darkness
It's line is etched in my memory.

So I'd know you by heart.

Mornings in April
Sharing our secrets
We'd walk until the morning was gone.
We were like children
Laughing for hours
The joy you gave me lives on and on.

Cause I know you by heart.

I still hear your voice
On warm Summer nights
Whispering like the wind.

You left in Autumn
The leaves were turning
I walked down roads of orange and gold.
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter
You're still here beside me every day.

Cause I know you by heart,
Cause I know you by heart.

By Eva Cassidy

The Princess Who had Nothing To Love

2011-05-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, There was a princess named Lina. She was not always a happy child, but she was not always sad either.

One day, she walked past a little magic ball. It was a very peculiar ball, for the colors were very ugly and it was as if the last owner did not bother how it would ever look like.

Realizing there would be no harm done to bring it back, the princess decided to bring it home. It was no easy task, for the magic ball had a mind of its own. The closer she got to it to hold it, the further it roll away from her. The chase went on until the magic ball reached to the edge of a drain. Unwilling to allow the ball to fall, she ran and picked the ball up, and put it safely in her pocket so that it wouldn't roll anywhere else.

The magic ball was not willing to be carried away by the princess and it became hot. It did not burn a hole in her pocket, but the princess could feel the heat. So she pulled that part of her skirt away from her skin, and was thankful for the short walk left to reach her castle.

In her room, she placed the ball in a square box and the ball cooled down. She brought it to the window where there was sunlight and the sounds of singing birds. It was then when she noticed its color started becoming more grey. She panicked for a moment, and decided to paint it herself.

Determined as she was, she took a cloth and tried rubbing the colors off the magic ball. Instead of helping her, the ball radiated heat again and scorched her palm. Throwing the ball back into the box, she left the room and ran to the river close to the castle, where she placed her scalded hand into. She started crying because she was disappointed with what that had happened. As when her first tear dropped into the river, an obvious ray of sunlight appeared next to her.

"Oh, dear princess, what has happened that made you cry so?" a voice from nowhere was heard.

"Nothing, you should be so concerned about, but I wasn't given a chance to love"

"Look into the river and say 'My heart aches so' and you'll be given help."

She did what she was asked to do and a fish appeared by the surface of the water "Princess Lina, my old friend! Stop crying, I may have the solution". Then a rag appeared next to the fish, "It is a magic cloth that can erase any color away. Use it wisely."

Inexplainable joy filled the heart of Lina and she grabbed the rag. Headed straight for her room, she wiped away her tears and took the magic ball in her hands. It started becoming hot again, but with two hands holding the rag, she felt nothing, therefore managed to erase the colors of the ball away. Unable to do anything more, the magic ball kept still and allowed her to erase it's color as well as painting it with new colors.

Looking at itself, the ball become quite happy and swirled the colors all around itself with joy. It entertained the princess and the ball was contented as well.

Days passed and both the princess and the magic ball found companionship in each other. When the ball is happy, it will radiate the bright yellow colors on itself. Day after day the ball remained bright yellow, and the princess could never be as sad as before.

Then came one day, the ball turned dull maroon. The princess became worried, and held it in her hands. She tried playing with it but, it still remained dull maroon. Leaving it in it's box next to the window again, she was disappointed at being unable to make it happy and ran out of the castle once more, crying. While sitting in the meadow, a spot of sunlight appeared next to her as before and a voice was heard "Oh, dear princess, what has happened that made you cry so?".

"Nothing, you should be so concerned about, but I wasn't given a chance to love"

"Look into the sky and say 'My heart aches so' and you'll be given help."

Hoping for the best, she did as she was told and two birds came flying down to her side. "Princess Lina, our old friend! Stop crying, we may have the solution. Go back to your room and we'll meet you there!" Running back up the castle stairs and into her room, she anticipated for what's to come. She then saw the two birds by the windowsill chirping melodious music that filled the room. The princess did not stop sobbing until she saw the ball turning bright yellow. She held the ball next to her and she felt its warmth in her hands, and she became very happy once more. The ball continued as her very close friend, and they played together for a very long time. All the while, it only radiated the color of bright yellow.

It was all so, and the princess never got out of the castle for a few months, until one fated afternoon after waking up late, the princess could no longer find the ball in it's square box. She became very anxious, and looked in every corner of her room. She soon realized she left the window open the last night, and she became even more nervous.

Rushing out into the open air, outside the castle, she searched the ground where the ball may have fallen. "Princess Lina our old friend! Why are there tears in your eyes?" asked the two birds that helped her once before.

"Oh, nothing, you should be so concerned about, but I may now have nothing to love"

Understanding that she have lost her ball, the two birds helped her in search for it.

"Princess Lina my old friend! Why are there tears in your eyes?" asked the fish that helped the princess months before, with it's head popping out from the surface of the river.

Oh, nothing, you should be so concerned about, but I may now have nothing to love" she replied again to the fish, and the fish too knew what she lost. It also went in search for her missing ball.

Walking a few steps from the river, she saw a dull green ball and realized it was the magic ball that she owned. The birds saw it too, but knew it shouldn't be of the color. The princess ran to it, but to her dismay, it rolled away from her. When it stopped, she ran again, and tears swelled up in her eyes. "I love you dear, Tammy. I'll paint you and make you beautiful again. Come back."

She ran towards it again, and this time it did not roll away. Instead, it radiated a great amount of heat when she held it. This made the princess cry even harder. The birds chirped solemnly and was hoping they could help, but before they reached the princess, she started chasing the ball again while it rolled away. It rolled and rolled until it reached the edge of the river bank.

Panicking, the princess stretched her hand out as far as she could to take hold of it, but the ball rolled into the river. The fish tried to save it but for the current was too strong and was heading to a waterfall, it couldn't go anymore near it.

Princess Lina cried harder than ever. Not even the birds and the fish said anything, for they knew this heartache would take very long to cure. The birds only sang to her sorrow hoping to help and the fish followed her as she walked by the river back to the castle. Upon reaching the door, with her vision blurred from tears, she saw a ray of sunlight shining on her and a familiar voice asked ""Oh, dear princess, what has happened that made you cry so?"

"Nothing, you should be so concerned about," she sobbed, "but I now have nothing to love"

AUTHOR, JOYCE TJL

PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A STORY AFTER 2 YEARS.

How are You Today?

2011-05-02T03:41:00.000-07:00

It'll always be the same old answer/picture~

= =

JTJL

The End.

2011-04-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

And life will never be what it seems.

The world will always have the Same old problem until it actually ends

2011-04-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

From the eyes of many people around me:

From my eyes:

Can there really be a right and wrong in this?

Can there really be 'one better than the other'?

and yet there are so many who waste their energy trying to tell the other, you do not think outside the box all because of THAT DIFFERENCE UP THERE!

The wind will always admire it's elegance in it's lightness, just as the water would adore it's elegance in it's crystal clear self.

JTJL

There'll ALWAYS be a silver lining in Every dark cloud

2011-03-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

The sun'll come out

Tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar

That tomorrow

There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about

Tomorrow

Clears away the cobwebs,

And the sorrow

'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck a day

That's gray,

And lonely,

I just stick out my chin

And Grin,

And Say,

Oh!

The sun'll come out

Tomorrow

So ya gotta hang on

'Til tomorrow

Come what may

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

I love ya Tomorrow!

You're always

A day

A way!

[ANNIE: Tommorow]

I needa do sth here.....Hmmmmmmmmm~

1. change everything

2. start a format maybe

3. a schedule????

JTJL

AHA!

2011-02-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

I guess my blog will be for a time like this:

I JUST REALISED I OFTEN GET ANGRY OVER MY INABILITY TO BE ACCEPTED BY EVERYONE ELSE~!

I JUST REALISED THAT, I HAVE BEEN MADE SO SPECIAL, IT SETS AS A CONDITION FOR EVERYONE TO SHOW WHETHER OR NOT THEY CAN PROVE THEMSELVES TO BE REAL FRIENDS!

I KNOW I AM NOT HALLUCINATING AND COMFORTING MYSELF, CAUSE I DO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM AND ARE READY FOR ME TO FALL TO PICK ME UP!

I JUST REALISED I HAVE DECEIVED MYSELF THINKING THAT I AM NOT WANTED. IT IS RATHER, SOME PEOPLE CAN'T PROVE THEMSELVES TO LOVE!

I just realised I can be like that too.

I just realised, How blessed I am to have those friends in their respective categories with all their same love!

I KNOW NOBODY READS so...I wun say the names la~ =)

So, question from this post is: It's not really how many friends you have or can get. It is how much of a friend you are to everyone. =)

Gotta stop learning to hate myself now~ @.@

JTJL

Here I am.

2010-12-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

I close my eyes....

Once more....The light before me.

Where am I? Where have I come from?

Speak to me endless mysteries of life.

Dessert field of loneliness, do I belong to you?

I call. I cry. bring me close to you dear light.

How far are you?

Come back.

Am i moving?

Come back.

Where am I?

Are you leaving me?

I still see you.

Come back.

You're not dimming

But my spirits light is.

Faith. Where have you gone?

Love. Who are you?

Am I moving?

Come back.

Hatred. Leave me, though you may be satisfying.

Anger, kill me not. You do not belong to my being.

Greed. You destroy me, but you are so sweet, you are more than a dream.

Hope. Are you there?

Pain. Why are you here?

Don't take me. Don't touch me.

Teach me to move.

I want you back.

JoyceTJL

IM STILL LIVING BABEH! XD

2010-12-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER YEAR PASSED!!!! ONE MORE MONTH LEFT!!! MY LESS THAN NUMBER 10 POST IS HERE!! @.@

It's so nice to see a clear blog...It's like you're starting anew. Something everybody wants to do when it comes to life i guess.
Looking back at the past and finding things very messy. You want them away. Whether they were moments of victory or defeat, you just wanna know who you are and not what you have been. I guess that is why we do not remember our past very well, it'll end up like a blog. It's nice to see what you have been through, but it's not always nice to know, there are moments clinging behind you, whether you like them or not they are there.
And I guess that is why, Christ came down for all of us. And assure us of a future He holds in His hands for us. The salvation and the truth in Love. We have no reason to look back all the time...But we have a reason to live for today!

I havent wrote for so long...this is....Niceeeee~ XDD

Springs' Autumn, Summers' Winter

Lie Down and Close Your Eyes.

Dusk and Dawn

Lived to tell the tale

Aching

It Can't last

Baby Here I Go Again

LIFE RAWKS WIT JESUS CHRIST! ^^^^

*CRIESSSS!!!!*

I will follow you~~~ (*Backup singers*: follow you!)

Discarded

Greetings~~ ^^

Fragile

Hello My Friend

For I Am All I've Done; Remember Me

Crooning to the Moon

Dear survival

Good times, good times~

World Wisdom.

Hugs for Yua

Chapter 1

I need to stop this.

Love love love love love makes the world go round ^^

Until then

So Long, Farewell.

I promised myself

Who will I die as?

Dear laptop I never got a chance to name~

Are you there?

LONELY AND FORGOTTEN???

Vocaloid craze period: When songs say it all~

FEELING AWESOME....

Crocodile~ XD

For stability's sake~

Wants, Needs and Actions

It ended anyway. =)

Lighted Joy

Not worth reading. But I love it.

Emo/Happy/uncertain/Hungry/Emo/Unsure/Confused/Very hungry/ *stomach growling* / Emo~ (I just love myself~ XD)

The Princess Who had Nothing To Love

How are You Today?

The End.

The world will always have the Same old problem until it actually ends

There'll ALWAYS be a silver lining in Every dark cloud

AHA!

Here I am.

IM STILL LIVING BABEH! XD

CRIESSSS!!!!

I will follow you~~~ (Backup singers: follow you!)

Emo/Happy/uncertain/Hungry/Emo/Unsure/Confused/Very hungry/ stomach growling / Emo~ (I just love myself~ XD)